Does the idea of a vacation sound like an appalling loss in office productivity? Or does the idea of work sound like those temporary, dreary hours when you're not tanning at the beach? Ten questions will give you the answer to this most important question.
1. You're playing golf with your boss. Right now you're thinking:
Coffee Trunk Table
a. I need to make this putt to impress him. Then I'll be around when he discusses the plans for the new account. I must show him I am capable and ready to be the project lead!
b. I need to make this putt to impress him. Then I'll be around when they go for drinks tonight. His wife is hot. I hope she'll be there!
c. Wherz da flag? Man oh man, I shouldn't'f sloshed down that sixth beer! Hey, that shand trap looks like a great place to catch some rays.
2. It's time for coffee break. But you're still in that meeting. What do you do?
a. It doesn't even cross your mind, because it would be completely irresponsible to think of such a trivial thing while contributing to next year's budget projections.
b. You feel the aroma of the coffee pot through the door, and you struggle to keep your attention on the sales figures. Still, coffee. Mmm.
c. The bell for coffee wakes you up into jarring reality. The sounds of the gentle surf is replaced by the irritating droning of some guy with a pointer. You excuse yourself and drowsily leave the room.
3. It's your Caribbean-themed office party! However, you notice that the social committee is completely clueless as to what constitutes a Caribbean party. You:
a. Politely ignore the plastic flamingos in the corner and sip on your non-alcoholic beer. You straighten your tie before striding boldly to the higher management table.
b. Smirk at the deflated plastic palm trees and raccoon stuffed animals and make a mental note to join the social committee next year to do things properly - by taking a vacation for "educational" purposes.
c. Plop yourself down on the inflatable tube you brought, then spike your Coke with a flask of Jamaican rum you smuggled in. Rub tanning lotion over your body, and politely ask a co-worker to do your back.
4. That cute co-worker is constantly eyeing you. You're interested too, but office romance is strictly forbidden. You:
a. Report sexual harassment to human resources. There, problem solved, especially if it means a promotion!
b. Arrange for a romantic evening outside work, but avoid all eye contact while working.
c. Arrange for a wild, passionate tryst in the server room!
5. You're lounging in the Caribbean, quietly sipping your drink, when suddenly you wake up and you're still at your desk, in the middle of writing audit reports! You:
a. Shake your head and chastise yourself for falling asleep, and hope nobody noticed.
b. Pout softly, then surreptitiously check the Internet for travel deals. Make a mental note to buy tanning lotion on the way home.
c. Scream.
6. In order to get the project done, you have to work Saturday. But there's a big party Friday night! What do you do?
a. Call one of your friends and say you can't make it, because you have to work tomorrow. Emphasize the word ‘work' to shame them into becoming responsible adults like yourself.
b. Go to the party, but leave early, sighing about your heavy workload and inviting pity drinks from your friends.
c. What project? Six beers will destroy that silly idea about working through the weekend!
7. "The implementation of our strategic application is conducive to the progressing interaction of our structured workflow." This statement means:
a. "Implementing our dedicated investment supports the core evolution and functionality of our strategic vision." What's not to understand?
b. "Buying new crap keeps our old crap working."
c. Just a sec . . . looking up "implametashun."
8. The company is introducing a new logo. Management says the stylized palm tree and two coconuts at the base of the trunk symbolizes their relaxed and co-operative relationship with clients. Everybody is asked what they think of it. You:
a. Write a detailed analysis emphasizing the beauty and fitting nature of the logo, and applaud the advertising agency for a job well done.
b. Laugh with your co-workers at the obvious similarity to a certain part of the male anatomy.
c. Begin drawing exceptionally rude additions on the logo, symbolizing relationships of a different nature.
9. Congratulations, you've been promoted to middle management! More hours, more responsibility, a bit more cash. You:
a. Puff with pride and self-importance, polish your new mahogany desk and anticipate twice as many meetings. Your statements to underlings begin to go something like "Yeeeaah, hi, I'm going to ask you to come in on Saturday . . ."
b. Ask for a lot more money first, plus an extra two weeks vacation, stating that increased responsibility and stress needs such compensation.
c. Wake from such a horrible dream. Vow to never again play that "Middle Management " card game!
10. You have 6 weeks of vacation to use, because you haven't been taking any for the last couple of years. Management says you can either take it or convert it for 1 regular paycheck. How do you react?
a. Laugh at such an impossible scenario, because not only do you take full vacations every year, you often call in sick for a week and hire "Rent-A-Sick Buddy" to cover for you while you lounge in Jamaica!
b. You take the paycheck and continue working. (Now you can sock away more money to buy that limited 17th century replica still-life painting of fruit!)
c. You scoff at yourself, pack your bags, and begin the best and most needed 6 weeks of your life!
For each answer from 1 - 9:
For every A answer, give yourself 1 point.
For every B answer, give yourself 2 points.
For every C answer, give yourself 4 points.
Question 10 was a trick! Give yourself 5 for A (for exceptional style!), -1 for B (come on now, fruit??), and 2 for C (don't do that again, you silly workaholic!).
How you Rate:
Less than 15: You live to work, and a board meeting is the thrill of your life. You just can't wait to impress your boss with your awesome PowerPoint presentation! It's taken weeks to prepare the 78 screens! Thankfully, nobody invites you to parties. Who has time for those?
16 to 19: You worship florescent lighting. The hum and flicker of white light, and how it accents the grey cubicle walls is the definition of the highest art form. However, you felt a bit sad when the boss moved you from the window to the middle of the office, and took your stapler.
20 to 25: You love nothing better than to walk through a group of shivering, pale people with your suntan. Did you go to a tropical destination in the middle of winter? Did you cheat and go to a tanning salon? You'll never tell.
26 to 30: Nice wireless laptop! You obviously have one, because you're certainly not reading this at a desk. You only happened upon this page because you need to order a second swimsuit, preferably one that lets in the tanning rays. Careful with that margarita, you don't want to waste it by accidentally spilling it all over your keyboard again!
30 and above: Thank god your uncle left you all that money so you can afford to live at the resort! You shudder at what might have been - actually having to work a desk job at some soul-sucking corporation. Or is this a dream, and you don't actually have a rich uncle who passed away? Best not think of those things, just enjoy the now.
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